Why Relationships are Vital to Academic Comprehension
"No matter how skilled she was at teaching reading, math, or any other subject, it was nearly impossible for her students to succeed—because stressed brains don’t learn as well."
When I started working with kids, I had no idea how severe some of the trauma the kids would have in their past. Physical abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, sexual abuse. You hear stories all the time on the news about the horrors that some kids have to survive through, but it all changes when you hear it from the mouth of the kid themselves. A kid that you know well: their likes, dislikes, sense of humor, hobbies, friends, strengths, weaknesses. A small human being that has only been on this Earth for a few years, but has gone through horrors that most adults can't even imagine.
A teacher's main job is to teach our students academic curriculum. To determine the theme of a reading passage. To multiply and divide fractions. To create a food web that demonstrates the flow of energy through producers and consumers. To analyze the causes and effects of the Civil War. But how is a child supposed to truly retain these concepts if a memory of abuse is triggered, due to a seemingly harmless word being mentioned? Or even worse, they're worried about an abuser showing up at their door when they arrive home that afternoon?
Students' academic instruction and mental health are not mutually exclusive. In order to get the best out of our students, we need to not only foster positive academic growth, but positive mental health care as well. A child that feels unhappy or unsafe won't focus on the daily lesson. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs tells us that in order to progress to higher-orders of thinking, we must first meet our basic needs. We must be fed, sheltered, and emotionally sound. Otherwise, academic instruction won't be absorbed.
So what do we do? In my seven years of working with students, I've come to realize that relationships are absolutely vital to their academic success. If you are unaware of a student's past abuse, or even just a bad night the previous day, and they react to a trigger, it is most likely seen as an attack towards the teacher. For example, one of my students purposely failed a grammar quiz. I found out later after I pulled him into the hallway that his house was infested with spiders and he didn't get any sleep that night, then he didn't have the time or money to get breakfast that morning. A bag of chips later, this student aced the quiz he had just failed. Was his first quiz score an accurate assessment of his knowledge? Of course not. If the time hadn't been taken to find the reason for the problem, his quiz score would have stayed, and been an inaccurate representation of his understanding.
Our students need to know that if there is a problem, they can come to their teacher about it. Not only that, but we also need to be real with our students, so they know that adults have problems as well. If a student is upset about a family member dying, I tell them about when my grandmother passed away. If they got into a fight with their parent the previous night, I tell them about how I would fight with my parents, but in the end they care. If they share that they are struggling with feelings of sadness, I tell them how I cope with my depression (in kid-friendly terms of course).
But to get to this point, you have to build those relationships with your students. You have to care about their interests, their hobbies, their life. They need to know that their teacher cares about them: as people. Only then can you transcend the setbacks of abuse, and genuinely instruct your students.
Teaching is 10% content, 90% relationships.